Why I would NEVER do a fitness competition again

One year ago today, I competed in my first ever fitness competition. You know the thing where you stand up on stage in a very sparkly bikini and terribly orange fake tan? Yeah, that! I posted tons of photos on Instagram and Facebook. Smiling! Excited! Super fit! Look at me! I worked so hard and look so amazing. Inside my head, I was miserable and I wanted to go home. I desperately needed water and food. I hadn’t had a sip of water for nearly 30 hours. My carb sources were green beans and nothing else. Looking at a piece of chicken made me want to vomit. I had been on a severely restricted diet for 10 weeks. However, my desire for external validation kept me on that diet and on that stage.

Afterwards, I received so many compliments pretty much all along the lines of, “Omg, Katie! You look so amazing!” or “your body is so hot!… I wish I had your abs..” etc. I lived on compliments like this… I loved it! I would feel so happy and good about myself whenever I received a compliment. I craved the attention, but I was also craving junk food. It felt like for every compliment I received, I would binge eat more and more. All the things I “couldn’t” have. All the “bad” foods and carbs and sugar and fat and …. Omg… I just couldn’t stop eating. I gained back 20 pounds in a matter of weeks. I was full of guilt and shame whenever I ate something that was bad. My hormones were insane too. My mood would go from happy to sad to super fucking angry in the span of 5 minutes. After my show, I didn’t get my period for 3 months. My boyfriend suffered too from my raging mood swings and low libido. I was no longer getting those compliments I had been receiving. I would look in the mirror and hate what I saw. I was OBSESSED with food. It consumed all my thoughts, what I should and shouldn’t be eating. I couldn’t sleep at night because I was thinking about what I would eat the next day, punishing myself for craving sugar. I would exercise excessively if I binged the day before. I was not present in my relationships or at my job. I was consumed by the need to look that particular way again. I felt so unworthy. So fat! I hated myself for having no control. I hated feeling fat. It felt like the worst thing ever. I was suffering and I didn’t know what to do about it.

I knew what I was doing and thinking was crazy, but unfortunately, this is the society we live in. As women, we are taught that our worthiness depends on what we look like.

Eventually, I hit rock bottom. I sought out help from my therapist and from all spiritual and self-help books I could get my hands on. I worked very hard over the past 5 months to change my mindset. I journaled, I struggled, I cried. I prayed, I meditated, I said “fuck this” a lot.. I asked for help. I isolated. I performed self-care and I was always way too hard on myself. I never gave up. I started having more good days than bad. I still struggle every day, but I hold on to my inner strength and I remind myself I am worth it. When I look in the mirror I see that I am worthy. I am intelligent, funny, and compassionate. I love my body because it houses my soul. I love it too because it is strong and healthy.

Would I ever do a competition again? Absolutely not. It is ridiculous. However, I am grateful for the lessons it taught me.

Guess what? I am the SAME person in each and every single one of these photos. I am worthy of love at all of these times. I am no better or worse in any picture. I am me and I am beautiful.

Photos (from left to right): Day of the competition (December 2015), 6 months later, and this morning (December 2016).



2016 Resolutions and Updates

HAPPY 2016!

I am busy working on my New Year’s Resolutions! How are you doing on yours? Want my advice? WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN and work on it daily.

I have specific goals for my personal and professional life that includes finances, fitness, and my spirit. These include some of the following ideals:

  1. Cultivate Happiness Daily
  2. Work with a Purpose
  3. Inspire Others
  4. Eat Mindfully
  5. Workout Joyously-Appreciate my body for what it does and not what it looks like
  6. Live Gratefully-Be thankful every day for every day as it is

I am running a (free) 6 week health and fitness challenge to start the new year with a healthy mind, body, and soul. I’d love for you to join me! Every week, you will receive motivation and workouts straight to your inbox! Are you interested? Sign-up here: http://eepurl.com/bLuCJ5 or email me: fitkatiebpersonaltraining@gmail.com

In other news, I will be training evening and weekends at Striation 6 in Toronto, Ontario. I am my own transformation story and I can help you be yours. Wanna train with me? 5 months until bikini season so hop to it! Contact me! www.fitkatieb.com/contact/

Let’s make 2016 the most awesomest year yet.

To health and happiness,

Katie xo

Why I am totally okay being in last place.

I competed in a fitness competition last weekend for the first time ever! It was soooo scary! My cheeks (butt and face) were shaking on stage. I went through many emotions (and flexing poses), and I have needed this whole week to gather my thoughts around it.

I dieted and worked out like a maniac for 10 weeks and it was so worth it. The morning of the show, I loved the results! However, after stepping on stage I felt shame and guilt. The judges re-positioned me on stage and I realized I was being moved into the, She-is-not-even-being-considered-category.  My initial thoughts were, “I am not good enough. I needed to diet better, exercised more, I should have done this.. or that..(insert excuse here)…”

You get the picture. Those negative thoughts are SO unhealthy. Luckily, I caught them and said, “STFU”. I gathered up my courage, put on my big girl panties, and smiled with the rest of them. I ended up cheering on the other girls that I met backstage and having a fun time.

I ended up placing last in both the figure and fitness model categories. Dead last. And guess what? I am totally, 100% okay with that. I stepped out on stage  in heels and a TINY, pink bikini! WHAT?! That is bravery. That is courage. THAT is success!

I realized that losing at something does not make you a failure. In fact, I am a winner. I have learned so much from this process. Next time, I anticipate even greater success. I am down for another competition in April and ready to succeed (first or last place!).

Believe in yourself and go for you dreams.

Living in fear is the worst thing you can do for yourself.

Love, Katie xo

Guest Blog Post: Wholeheartedly Whole 30

bikini  Mo gym Mo

Wholeheartedly Whole30: My Transformation Story                      

By: Laura Mo


Towards Whole30

I know the Whole30 people would want me to say that my journey started on Day1, October 21st­ 2015, but it’s not true… I’m getting emotional thinking and writing about this (aw shit, I’m tearing up…). In reality, my journey began the day I screamed out loud, “I CAN’T DO IT!” while my weak little arms were giving out during a backwards crab walking exercise at Bootcamp with Katie B. She proceeded to yell at me with a strong determination in her voice, “DO NOT SAY THAT! YES, YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN!”

That is really where my journey begins. I had a “Snap Moment”, like many people have in their lives, when we realize that health needs to become a priority. Maybe it is triggered when you are pushed to your limits. Maybe it is just some negative experience or feeling that you decide to turn into a positive. In any case, I hope, (dear pre-Whole30 reader), that you have your Snap Moment. It will come in handy during the hard times. For me, I go back to that place and time, and I hear a firm and familiar voice that says, “Yes, you can.”

In April 2015, I was 139lbs (which is heavy for me because I am short), unhappy and ready for a Capital “C” Change. I made a commitment to get fit with FitKatieB (aka. my best friend). I joined a gym in April and followed her blog, inspired by what I saw and read there. Katie opened a door for me that would eventually lead to a great number of good choices, and for that I am so grateful. One step at a time really is an important transitioning theory into health. Ultimately, one good decision leads to a series of other good decisions, although, the same is true for bad decisions. In my earliest moments of fitness, Katie made me a specialized plan, and patiently took me through exercises as part of a body weight, or “Booty” bootcamp. I started actively working out with my plan in July 2015. She gave me specialized help, and the best encouragement I’ve ever had. She made modifications for my push­ups and let me know it was “ok” to be at my own starting place. I took that starting place to a gym and began to work out on my own.

Special Note: For me, proximity was key for getting into a regular gym routine. Please heed this advice! Make sure your gym is close to your house or work. You want to go by it every day and think, “Why am I not there (working out)?” especially on those days you don’t go. Out of sight is really is out of mind, so make sure your gym is part of your immediate vision (literally) whenever possible.




The Extenuating Circumstances

I can’t neglect some important facts. This adventure into fitness started around the same time that my body decided to send me a two­week, non­stop, “How­am­I­not­dead­from­this?” period. By June I experienced a 30-day period. I wrote a lengthy personal writing piece called, “The very serious impediment of my femaleness” (very graphic, maybe way too feminist?) after I experienced non­stop, all around, hell. The backstory is this: I’ve been struggling for two years with severe PMS/PMDD (Please look it up if you want to know more). I had all the symptoms under the sun and about 2.5 weeks of every month since I turned 30 years old! All sorts of BS! This stuff is real, yo, and I credit these problems as causing stress and strains in my personal (read: Family) and professional life. Anyway, if April was my starting point for fitness, June was my breaking point. My body had to change.

I started eliminating carbs. I really cut back on grains and saw a difference in my mental health and energy levels. I was working out every day. I was getting sucked into the gym­rat lifestyle and feeling so much gratitude to have the time ­ as a school teacher on vacay­ to dedicate to my health over the summer months. I also started to gain confidence and take a closer look at my partner of 5 years. His lifestyle choices specifically were not on par with my own. His values and mine conflicted. I felt I was moving forward in a positive direction and the stronger I got, the weaker my partner was becoming ­ literally, shrinking before my eyes ­ and, away from responsibilities, commitment and generally looking depleted, ill and unhealthy. I made the decision to break up with my partner of five years in early August. In hindsight, the list of reasons relate a lot more to my self­respect and confidence than his eating/health habits. The breakup was a defining cornerstone in my journey towards the strong commitment that the Whole30 requires.


My Whole30 Journey

Starting Weight: 128 Lbs, 5 foot 2 inches

Day30: 121.5 Lb

Regrets: O

I did a week of research and prep for my start date and away I went. I committed to the Whole30 program with a friend and I encourage others to find a friend as well. There are some dark days, believe me. Talking through your feelings with someone you trust; who shares a common goal, is a real gift.

My reasons for starting should be fairly apparent by now, but let me get into some of the less obvious reasons. If you’re thinking of starting the program, you really need to consider your reasons and take a “big picture” approach. Make sure your reasons aren’t just superficial drop ‘dem pounds reasons.

Here are Mine:

  • Eliminating symptoms related to PMDD, abnormal period and chronic fatigue
  • Improving BMI
  • I love to cook and I’m an artist and I thought that the Whole30 would present the opportunity to learn more about less visited foods. I wanted to apply my creativity to food preparation. I’m genuinely interested in learning more about the world of spices, herbs and seasonings without the sugar and other pre­packaged garbage. On my journey, I discovered a real love for such foods as beets, squash, brussel sprouts, coconut manna, avocado, seeds, dates and figs.
  • I like the idea of using everything, so looking back, my Whole30 really was about using the whole everything. If I had a chicken, for example, the carcass would be used in a soup broth. If I made squash, the seeds would be seasoned and became a delicious snack for later. You feel that? It becomes kind of fun…
  • Gaining self­confidence, specifically related to dating and going out for social time… stone­cold sober.
  • Improved relationships with my true friends
  • Re­evaluating other facets of my life, or “what’s important (and) what’s disposable”


So, after 30 days, what can I tell you?

  • I experienced “strangely happy” feelings. There was one point in the program where I actually ran joyfully through a field, met my friend in an embrace, and broke out into a giddy fit of laughter. The natural high of treating yourself well is unlike any other. These moments in the program will make you question how long you have been living otherwise. These moments alone are worth doing it
  • It kind of feels like you are part of a special club like you’ve got this great secret and it’s a HAPPY, HEALTHY LIFE! Oh, and Joy!
  • I had my first normal period in 2 years on Day 10 of my whole30
  • Generally, I was calmer and more at peace on the daily and suffered from little to no anxiety
  • My cravings were only intense when I got sick. I only got sick on Day 28 from ­ I am guessing it was- the flu shot and I wanted to eat everything. Otherwise, I was in high health and good spirits with two very real exceptions:
  • On Day7 and Day26 I cried uncontrollably. One, out of frustration and sadness and once, out of joy and in reflection on the subject of my life.
  • Food mostly tasted awesome and I loved exploring my creativity through food preparation. Although, around week 2.5, I must admit, I started to feel like there were restraints chaining me to my kitchen and doing dishes. So many dishes!!!
  • Self­care and non­food rewards are a thing. A very, very good thing. Why did I never think I deserved this time, these treats before?
  • Listen to your body and sleep when you need to. Learn how to say “No” to social situations and do what serves you so you can serve others.
  • Healthy dating means sober dating. And, guess what? It can be fun!
  • Positive self-talk is a game­changer (note from Katie-YES!!!)
  • I didn’t slip once with the NO: dairy, grains, sugar, legumes rules. However, there were moments when I may have snacked a little too heartily on my date rolls (rolled in coconut flakes), and I did eat a bag of kettle cooked paleo compliant potato chips over the course of the month. Admittedly, these chips were “not in the spirit” of the whole30. But, I did it with intention and damn I enjoyed those potato chips with every ounce of my being. I did skip breakfasts on occasion in favour of a Larabar and a coffee. Besides drinking alcohol, that’s one of my “worst” habits from my past: granola bars and coffee for breakfast.
  • Other than those not­quite­so­perfect admittances, I’m really proud of myself and what I accomplished.

My last lesson: If you try to make someone else’s rules fit (into) your life, you are not going to last in the long run. The rules of the Whole30 are fine for 30 days, but they are not sustainable forever. Who would want to live that way anyway? Seriously? No Way! But, what the program teaches you by day 31, is that you will make the necessary changes in your relationship with food. You will do what you need to. Every body is different. You will find a course of action that works for you. When you understand that you’re not really done on Day31, you’ll move forward with all kinds of hope for a healthy future. Here I am, post­Whole 30, committing to life as a weekday warrior (Sunday-Friday). What does being a weekday warrior mean? The rules are being established and I’ll be defining them for myself.


Xo. You can do it! 😉

What to do when life gives you a shit storm

We all know what I am talking about. Things go wrong, then more things, then wth? #allthethings are shit. It adds up, it piles on, and it feels overwhelming. I am going to give you some advice based on my last couple weeks of stress.

Here’s what was happening: I am in contest prep and dieting with very little carbs (read: HANGRY). I am working full-time in a new job and having to deal with some “interesting” personalities. My grandma was sick and hospitalized. It was shark week (PMS!! Hello?). My boyfriend and I were making plans to move in together and it gets complicated at times. I found out I have a heart problem that limits my exercise. And on top of it all,  I was working out twice a day (exhausting).

As you can imagine, I lost my shit. Broke down. Cried for a few days. Ate #allthecarbs I could get my hands on and then felt super duper guilty about it all. I felt like something was wrong with me. Why is this happening to me? My inner toddler was yelling, “no fair!!” and “me, me, me first!”


But guess what? I got through it because that is what people do. My inner strength comes from the difficult stuff I have to go through. My physical strength comes from barbells.

Here is some advice to deal with life’s shit storms because it all ain’t sunshine and rainbows.

  1. Accept it

Life happens. Some things we cannot control. Let it go. My best example is traffic-it happens. I cannot control it. I can just plug in my iPhone, listen to some sweet jams and sing my little heart out.

Things are exactly the way they are supposed to be.

An excerpt from the Big Book that is applicable to all people:

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems to all my problems today.When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some facet of my life unacceptable, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”

2. Don’t be a Victim

Self-pity will get you nowhere. Unfortunately, life happens as it does. Fortunately, it is our responsibility to choose how we respond to life changes and adversities. Asking “why me?” and saying “it’s not fair” will only serve to cause you emotional distress. There is no magic fairness fairy. It is up to us to choose our happiness.

“People always blame their circumstances for what

they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people

who get on in the world are the people who get up

and look for the circumstances they want and if they

can’t find them, make them.” 

George Bernard Shaw

(Reference: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-purpose/201305/refuse-self-pity)

3. Gratitude

Right now, the world is at war. So if you tell me you have nothing  to be grateful for, then stop reading this immediately.

Making a list of 3 things you are thankful for each day will make a world of difference in how you live your life.

Sometimes, I am simply thankful for track pants, coffee, and Nikes. Other days, I recognize how truly blessed I am surrounded by love and kindness.

4. Ask for Help

Don’t do it alone. That sucks and it’s stupid. Ask for help from friends and family. Call a crisis line. There are resources. Use them! You do not have to suffer. People are there to help you. Don’t feel guilty. If your loved one ask you for help, would you ignore them? I doubt it.

And lastly, 5. Take Care of Yourself!

Self-care is sooo important. SLEEP 8 hours. Read a good book. Watch a funny show on Netflix. Laugh. Dance. Go to the gym. Go for a walk. Go tanning. Plan a dream vacation! Have a bath. Paint your nails. Paint some canvas. Take a class you’ve never tried before. Get a massage or pedicure. Run. Play outside. Go shopping. Hug someone. Make a delicious dinner or dessert.

Do something nice for yourself. You absolutely 100% deserve it.

I hope this helps. It works for me so I am passing it along and hope it may work for you.

Love, Katie xo


I am a virgin! First Time Ever Fitness Competitor.

A few years ago, I told my boyfriend at the time that I wanted to do a fitness competition. Guess what he said? “You couldn’t because you eat too much.” Yikes. That lead to a huge fight, low self-esteem, and broken dreams.

Today, I recognize that I was in a terribly abusive relationship (thank God I got out of that one)! Since then, I have been through a lot, I am sober now and in recovery. I am in a healthy and happy relationship. But most importantly, I love myself no matter what!
And once again, I thought to myself how much I wanted to do a fitness competition. An opportunity presented itself, and BAM! I am currently in contest prep and less than 6 weeks away from doing my first competition on December 5th.

flex comparison

I am not going to lie, it has been really tough! I think I have now graduated to “ROBOTMODE” and I meal prep, exercise, work, sleep, repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I am excited to share my journey with you because I want people to know that it is possible. Anything is possible really if you just believe in yourself and get ish done.


Weight Loss Rant and Some Help

I love fitness, working out, and living a healthy life. I am good at it because I work so hard for it! It has taken  lots of years to figure even a small amount of things out.

I want to talk a bit about weight loss!

I know a few things: 1. Consistency is key, 2. You have to believe in yourself and love yourself FIRST before you can make any significant changes, and 3. You cannot starve yourself skinny. This is unhealthy and it doesn’t work. Let’s talk about point #3 here. I am angry today because of some BS I was reading today. I was getting my nails done (yes, I am girly like that) and reading magazines. US Life and Style listed a great, new diet to lose 15 pounds in a week so you can look like Kate Hudson!

Here it is:

FullSizeRender (1)

The daily calories range from 900-1100 calories per day. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I can tell you, that the only thing this “diet” will do is wreak havoc on your body especially if sustained for long periods of time.

Stress hormones (cortisol) increase which lead to leptin and insulin resistance (this will cause weight GAIN). You may even lose your period and increase risk of infertility. Not only that, you’ll probably end up being moody as hell and no one will want to be around you. You’ll be constipated, not sleeping well, cold all the time, and your hair will fall out in chunks (1). Yay!!…..because maybe you might get skinny?

IF you are really struggling to lose weight, make sure you are eating enough calories because it can be just as detrimental to your health as eating too much.

If you think you may have an eating disorder, seek professional help. One good resource I have found is: http://www.nedic.ca/  as well as CAMH and obviously, my favourite place (because I am an alumni!), Homewood!

Another tip, don’t try to look like Kate Hudson or Gwyneth Paltrow or Jessica Alba. YOU ARE YOU and you are NOT THEM. Be yourself and love yourself. Damn girl, ain’t nobody gonna change that.

xo, Katie


  1. https://chriskresser.com/are-you-an-under-eater-8-signs-youre-not-eating-enough/

The 21 Day Sugar Detox


I am starting the 21 Day Sugar Detox on Tuesday, August 4th and I want you to join me!
Interested? Read more about it below!
The 21-Day Sugar Detox is a comprehensive, yet simple and effective program to help break the chains sugar and carbs have on you – and help you find food freedom.
And you can sign-up here: http://eepurl.com/buOal5


The 21-Day Sugar Detox is a proven, whole-foods based program designed to help you bust sugar and carb cravings. The program includes a complete outline of included foods and foods that will be eliminated for the three weeks (Yes/No Foods Lists), as well as a library of resources, information, recipes, and more to help you along the way. The 21DSD includes three different levels, so that you can ease in to a new way of eating depending on how you currently eat. Every level is effective, and it is not required that you complete the program at the highest level (3) in order to see and feel the amazing results and benefits of the program.
What kinds of foods will I be eating on The 21-Day Sugar Detox?
You will be eating real, whole, nutrient-dense foods on the program. You will not be eating refined and highly processed foods. This program will require that you get your hands dirty in the kitchen as much as possible, but there are loads of tips and tricks for how to manage the program while dining out, traveling, and overall living a busy modern life. There are also 21DSD approved pre-made meals available from Pete’s Paleo if you feel that cooking or prepping your meals, or navigating restaurant menus becomes overwhelming on the program.
Will I need to purchase special foods or supplements to complete the program?
There are no special foods or supplements required to complete the 21DSD program. If you would like to make the recipes in the books and eBooks in the online membership portal, you may find some new ingredients within the recipes. There are resources within the books and online materials that explain where to find special ingredients (like coconut amino, a soy-free sauce that’s great in Asian inspired dishes).
In the program, you’ll find recommendations for supplements if you would like to try using some of them, but they are not required for your success. Many find them to be extremely helpful, however, and we do recommend reviewing the options to see if any of them sound like something that might help you.

Sign-Up Here to get on the email list: http://eepurl.com/buOal5

You can purchase the guide through this LINK (full-disclosure: affiliate link).

I’ve done the program before and it is awesome.

I will be sending daily emails starting on Tuesday for Day 1 (August 4th).

I can’t wait to get started with you guys on this program! Accountability is always key for challenges like this and we can help each other along the way!

To sugar freedom!!